When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
A man inserted an ''ad'' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don''t know, son, I''m still paying"