Go Barefoot
In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.
Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear.
When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go barefoot."
光着脚去
中学的时候，我对自己的高度非常敏感。
一次，一位救生员约我出去。事实上，我从未和他并肩站过，因而不知道他到底有多高。因此约会那晚，我拿出两双鞋，一双高跟，一双平跟。我安排哥哥去开门，让他和救生员比比高度，再上楼告诉我应穿哪双鞋。
门铃响了，我在楼上等着。哥哥跑上楼告诉了我一个不幸的消息：“你可以光着脚去约会。”
To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer. A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"
" Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."
"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."
保证没走错
在一家电影院里，一名观众在演出期间站了起来，沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。几分钟后，他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道：
“对不起，请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你的脚吗？”
“是的，不过没什么关系，一点也不疼。”
“噢，不，我不是这个意思。我只是想确认一下这是不是我的那排位子。”
Brain Transplant
A wealthy man lay critically ill. "There's only one thing that will save you," his doctor said. " A brain transplant. it's experimental and very expensive."
"Money is no problem," the man said. "Can you get a brain for me ?"
"There are three available. The first was from a university professor, but it'll cost you $10,000."
"Don't worry, I can pay. What about the second?"
"It was from a rocket scientist. It'll cost you $100,000."
"I have the money. And I'd be a lot smarter too. But what about the third?"
"The third was from a government bureaucrat. It will set you back half a million dollars."
"Why so much for the bureaucrat's brain?" the patient asked.
"Never been used."
脑移植
医生对他的一位病入膏肓的富翁病人说：“只有一个办法可以救你，那就是脑移植。这种办法是实验性的而且非常贵。”
“钱没有问题，”那个富翁说，“问题是，你能弄到大脑吗？”
“有三种选择。第一种是一名大学教授的，但要花1万元。”
“不用担心，我付得起。那么第二种呢？”
“第二种是一名火箭科学家的，得花10万元。”
“我有钱，那样我还能更聪明。那么第三种呢？”
“第三种是一名政府官僚的，得花50万元。”
“为什么政府官僚的脑子这么贵？”病人问道。
“因为他的脑子从未用过。”
