It's Not My Fault
Mother (reprimanding her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的错
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
A GREat Man
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a GREat man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a GREat man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
一名伟人
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
Happiness in Dream
There was a wife who told her husband, "Last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring."
The husband put down his newspaper and said, "Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them."
梦中的幸福
妻子告诉丈夫说：“昨天晚上我梦见你给我买了一件裘皮大衣和一个钻石戒指。”
丈夫放下手中的报纸说：“好啊！今晚再睡着时，你就穿戴上它们吧。”
Too Smart for Dad
"Young man," said the angry father from the head of stairs, "didn't I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in?"
"You did," admitted the boyfriend, "it was going to strike eleven , but I grabbed it and held the gong so it wouldn't disturb you."
The father muttered, "Wonder why I didn't think of that one in my courting days!"
青出于蓝
“小伙子，”父亲在楼梯口板着脸说道，“闹钟敲了四下，你才把我女儿带回来，我没听错吧？”
“是的，”男孩承认说，“闹钟本来是要敲11下，但我拽住了钟摆，以免影响您。”
父亲低咕道：“奇怪，我谈恋爱时怎么没想到这一着呢！”
