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幽默笑话
 When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will b
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]

  "Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.
"He says he wants some ketchup," my husband said calmly
A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"
"I'm a dentist," my husband explained.
Notes:
(1) reprimand v.申斥
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]
  "Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."
"Where is the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one-use your hat
Notes:
(1) make fun of取笑;嘲弄
(2) shopping bag购物袋
Exercises:
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]
The owner of a small travel agency saw an attractive couple gazing at his travel poster. Suddenly inspired, he ran up and told them his idea. "I'll give you an all-expenses-paid vacation in exchange for appearing in ads endorsing my agency." They agreed on the spot.
  Three weeks later he met them at the airport. While the man checked o
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]

  Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"
Notes:
(1) compliment (sb. on sth. ) v.恭维;称赞
(2) brag v.自夸;夸耀
(3) tip the scale at称量
Exercises:
根据短文选择正确答案:
① How much had the man's co-worker lost i
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]
I teach computer courses, and my students often call me at home with questions. One morning I was on the phone, explaining in computer language the solution to a problem, while a repairman was fixing my refrigerator. After an endless stream of "C colon, back- slash, greater than, cd, backslash, DOS, 0 colon" and so on, I hung up and found the repai
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]
  "Let's go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven't been anywhere for a long time."
  Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I'm not going to spend much money. We'll look at things, but we won't buy anything. "
  They went to the fair and look
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]

  "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.
Notes:
(1) dean of admissions 招生办主任
(2) prospective
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]

  "Oh, that's nice," said his wife.
The next day, at the grocery store, a young woman who had attended the lecture recognized the minister's wife. "That was certainly an excellent talk your husband gave yesterday, " she said. "He really has a unique perspective on the subject." Somewhat chagrined, the minister' s wife replied,
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]
My husband and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our children about our working days. It wasn't clear how much they absorbed until one day I overheard my seven-year- old, Lucy, cry out in frustration at her five-year-old sister, Charlotte, "You, you... you editor!"
Notes:
(1) impression n.印象
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]

  "Okay," said the woman on the phone, "but you' 11 have to write a letter to the bank telling them that you are requesting this. "
Notes:
(1) dislocate v.脱离原位;使脱臼
(2) signature n.签名
(3) due to由于
(4) honor v.承认并如期支付
Exercises:
根据短文填空:
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]

  "I didn't?" the doctor says." Then what are you doing out of bed?"
Notes:
(1) spot v.(从很多人或物中)认出;看出
(2) mall n.集市
Exercises:
根据短文选择正确答案:
① Where did the guy see his doctor?
A. in the barber's
B. in the shopping center
C.
(10/20/2010 00:00:00) [查看全文]
Asking for a Raise
At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn't bother people in the outer office.
After list
(02/25/2009 09:06:06) [查看全文]
Take Me to London
The pilot felt a gun sticking in his back, and a voice hissed in his ear, "Take me to London.""But we are going to London." said the pilot. "I know. But I've been hijacked to Cuba twice before, so this time I'm taking no chances."
(02/25/2009 09:06:05) [查看全文]
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