Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"
"Yes, Father, it is,

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道

An Unexpected Hobby
Alice lived in the country, but one year she decided to visit the capital city to do some shopping and to go sight-seeing. She stayed at a hotel beside the central market. She had seldom been to the city before, and was very excited about what she would find.
On the fi

What's your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together
Then he went to each soldier one aft

The reds or the greens？
Two apples up in a tree were looking down on the world．The first apple said，“Look at all those people fighting，robbing，rioting －－no one seems willing to get along with his fellow man．Some day we apples will be the only ones left．Then we'll rule the world．”Replied the second apple，“Which of us －－the reds or the gre

There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children.
One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw an elf by the side of the road, being the p

Alligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way(非常地), but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the no haggle attitude of one of

Frog's Dream
A small frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is gonna meet a young girl.
The teller tells him, “ Yes, you are.”
The frog replies, “Where? In a bar or at a party?”
The teller says, “In biology class!”

Too Much
A Russian, a Cuban, an American businessman and an American lawyer were on a train traveling Europe. The Russian took out a large bottle of vodka(伏特加), poured each of his companions a drink and then threw the semi full bottle out the window.
“Why did you do that?” asked the Ameri

Response Ability
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."
Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if h

Response Ability
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."
Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if h

Hunting Skills
Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"
"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.
"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear

Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, " It's a wonder that the dog is so long.

Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyo

　　"'is that so?" said my father-in-law." Then just keep loading them on my truck until they're free.
Notes:
(1) landscaping n.庭院布置
(2) brick-yard n.砖场
Exercises:
根据短文判断下列句子正（T）、（F）：
① My father-in-law wanted to do some front-yard landscaping.
② He went to the bric