A Smart Housewife
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That''ll be terrific! Since o

      Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word “Fool.” Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the co

      He Needs Treatment Again
As a doctor is examining a patient, his nurse bursts in and says, "Excuse me, but that man you just treated walked out the door and collapsed on the front step. What shall I do?

      My Husband Just Came in
The couple seated in a restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table, their waiter suddenly rushed over.
"Madam, look," he

      To Patch the Hole
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible," she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."

      Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
　　Mother mouse barked fiercely,

      Understanding
Our daughter was filling us in on her date the night before. They had driven to a neighboring city for dinner and a show. When her father asked her where the restaurant was located, she said, "

      They''ve Disappeared
On their first evening in their new home the bride went in to the kitchen to fix drinks. Five minutes later she came back into the living-room in tears.
"What''s t

      My Sister''s Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don''t see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren

      　　The nice women are ugly.
好女人不漂亮。
The beautiful women are not nice.
漂亮女人不好。
The beautiful and nice women are general stupid.
又漂亮又好的女人一般都很愚蠢。
The beautiful, nice and

      　　Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。

      Who Is the Laziest?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don''t know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do!

      Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interesting in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What''s the meaning of the wo

     
　　Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn''t make a sound.
Mary: Of course he doesn''t. Mom, it''s part of the game we are playing.

      My wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won''t start, but I know what the problem is."
I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor(化油器）. I thought f