Mushroom and Toadstool
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?
Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
蘑菇与毒蕈
年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢？

A Question
Professor: Before we begin the examination are there any question?
Student: What's the name of this course?
一个问题
教授：在开始考试之前，还有什么问题吗？
学生：考试科目的名称是什么？
Hen's Legs
Son: Why are hen's legs so s

I am the Driver
The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard.
"It's too crowded," they shouted. "What do you think you are?"
"I'm the driver," he said.
我是司机
一辆公共汽车已经相当

A Silly Father
Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, "Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face." Hearing that, Mr. White became very  angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and

TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

I'M NOT HAVING IT ALL CUT OFF.
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager

I CAN GO HOME.
One day after school the teacher said to his students, "Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home   
earlier." The next day, when the teacher came into the classr

BUYING A HAT
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent

ONLY A FEW WORDS
At a court the judge is interrogating a mugger but gets into difficulty because the mugger is a foreigner who doesn't speak English. "Don't you speak English at all?" the judge asks. "Only a few words," replies the mugger.
"What w

TWO HEARTS BEATING
Nurse: How do you feel after your operation?
Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.
Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now. 

AN ENERGETIC WIFE
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?
Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.
Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it ma

HIS FAULT
Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.
Mother: How did he do it?
Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.
他的错
比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。
妈妈：他怎么打的？
比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。
TELEMARKETER
I answer

THE FIRST TIME
Patient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.
Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.
第一次
病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。
外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术。 
GOOD SIGHT

Class, Lass and Ass
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,  so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow."
A student, seeing his chance to display his sense

It's Not My Fault
Mother (reprimanding her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的错
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。