The European Commission has just announced an aggreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of her negotiations, Her
Majestys Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around,
looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack,
a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying "Jesus is watching you."
The thief nearly jumped out of his skin, c

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
　The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there.
　Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
　The drunk replies, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子

Old Man And Donkey
There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.
The man and boy decided that m

有一块寓学于嘻的天地往往为英语自学者所忽视。 这块天地就是发表在英语刊物边边角角里的英语 绕口令、谜语和幽默。任何语言大致都有三个层 次：语音、词汇和语法。狭义而言，学习语言实 际上就是要掌握语言的这三个层次。而英语绕口令。谜语和幽默对于英语的每个层次都有涉及， 堪称英语自学者的良师益友。
许多同学在学习英语语音的时候，往往受方言的影响，发不准这个或那个音素。要纠正这些发得 不准的音，练习绕口令无疑是一种有趣并且有效的方法。 Eg. She sels seashells on the seashore. Eg. Six silly sleepers slept softly on silk sheets. 绕口令是可以自编的，从词典中找出一些含有同

Bush got something wrong with his brain.
After medical examination, doctor tells him:
Your brain has two parts: one is left, and another is right.
Your left brain has nothing right,
Your right brain has nothing left.

A Guide to U.S. Newspapers
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people
who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think
they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think
they should run the country.
4. US

人之初：At the begining of life.
性本善：Sex is good.
性相近：Basically,all the sex are same.
习相远：But it depends on how the way you do it.
苟不教：If you do not practise all the time.
性乃迁：Sex will leave you..
教之道：The way of learning it
贵以专：is very important to make love with on

You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one
parachute.
*Pessimist:* you refuse the parachute because you might die in the jump
anyway.
*Optimist:* you refuse the parachute because people have survived jumps
just like this before.
*Procr

Joke:AFRICAN ROULETTE
The new American Ambassador was being entertained by an
African Diplomat. They had spent the day discussing the progress the country had made with the Russians before kicking them out. "They built us a power plant, an airport, and taught us how to drink v

Joke:son-in-law
A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother.
"Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll ne

Joke:Coincidence
A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a triple martini. The bartender says "What a coincidence, the only other person at the bar is that beautiful woman at the other end. She is also drinking triple martinis".
After a few sips of his drink, the man walk

Joke:Bill Gates
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost e

Joke:Women
A Sikh, an Italian & a Frenchman were drinking in a pub when the subject of
WOMAN came up in their conversation.
The Italian said, in Italy we treat the woman like a guitar. We press the top & tickle the bottom.
The Frenchman said, in France, w